Last week my hemotology – oncology doctor heard my pain over this, and my fears for her not knowing where I was or why I wasn’t coming to get her, or if she was in harm’s way. doctor said, ”put your dog in a prayer field in your mind and heart.” Doctor talked a bit about his love for Hawaii, which is my homeland, and we came up together that the prayer field would be my child hood beach, and there would be a Hawaiian tutu, a grandmother to all, a healer of Hawaiian islands, on that beach watching over my dog, Maile Lei. this video and song was prompted by that meditation of her on the prayer beach with tutu. sorry about my singing on the video, I just just couldn’t do it without my voice catching and cracking. — heidi
the trauma project 
I came across your post on Craigslist and I read your post. My heart sunk. I then clicked the link listened to your song. My heart just broke as my boyfriend of 3.5 years lost his 13 year old pug and Became a huge part of me she passed almost a year ago she was our companion dog and helped with both our mental disabilities although she wasn’t taken from us I can only imagine the heartache you have. I am so sorry that you are going through this and have been for what probably seems like an eternity. I went into reading other posts and stumbled acrossed a mural you made and read about the history and story behind your mural. Which made the tears just flow as a few years ago My boyfriend Roxy (our pug) and I became homeless in the Olympia, Lacey area in WA State . For 7 months until I got on the HEN program which housed me for a year I missed an appointment lost the home and got put back on the waiting list we moved up and stayed with my dad in Everett WA and shortly after that our dog got sick and passed away.Then in August we made our way down to Kalama Wa and camped until a mama bear and 2 cubs came to our camp although it was amazing to see but gave us an uneasy feeling to stay any longer we then sought out to search for another spot which brought us down to Vancouver Portland area we left all of our belongings clothes food shelter heat and so on packed up and put in one tent not even 2 days later we returned to get our belongings and someone had gone through taking everything and left us with a slashed tent and broken poles! Shortly after that we were sleeping in our car with our car topper in Portland OR on marine drive when someone stole our car topper with about $70 worth of cans we were set out to redeem to be able to get something to eat buy some clothing get gas. It has been a struggle ever since I have gained such a resentment towards others even the homeless community Because being in Lacey Washington it was completely different where the homeless community seem to help one another out but coming to Portland Oregon and Vancouver Washington it seems like it’s a dog eat dog world out there where the homeless just still from one another. Being homeless for the first time a few years ago it gave me an understanding and I didn’t realize how Judgemental I was prior to being homeless I started to hear others’ stories while going through my own as I’ve always had a heart to give I still continued to while I was in Lacey while being in Vancouver and Portland I have been only taken from and Phil looked down upon which only triggers more anxiety and self doubt it feels defeating And I feel that I have a different perspective on the homeless community and have grown some bitter feelings. As I saw that coincidently reading your post on 25th and Main Street in Vancouver Washington I felt that I should share my condolences for you My boyfriend came back and I had taken them through the same steps that I went through Stumbling across your post Still with tears down my face he then began to shed tears. Your heart is so big so loving and so caring and it hurts that someone like you that has such a giving heart is going through something unimaginable. As I don’t have much to offer and Something you seem to understand a woman being homeless with mental illness of voice that I feel that no one cares I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you and if there’s anything that I can do an able to do please let me know. My boyfriend has been in construction working for the union for 26 years and has been out of work as the things that we are facing but goals to be there we are free to help in anyway we can
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