trauma therapy – the trauma project

The Trauma of The Vacuus

January 27, 2020January 27, 2020 by addogsunleashed, posted in anxiety and panic attacks, community support, dissociation, family annihilators, heidi d. hansen, m.a., loss and grief, mental health original art, mental health therapy, portland oregon therapist, post trauma stress, psychiatric service dogs, the trauma project, trauma recovery, trauma recovery acumen, vancouver washington therapist

Do you have, or have had, a Vacuus in your life?

Are you a Vacuus in someone else’s life?

As most of my readers know, I am writing and publishing a tell-all trauma book about my own personal story living in a family filled to the brim with sex abuse, emotional and physical abuse, crimes, sex and drug addiction, deceit, exploitation, and manipulative games that destroyed my bond with my son.

If what happened to me as a child was happening now, several family members and siblings, some of whom are high profile public figures, would be in jail.

In my childhood era, my family got away with keeping the secrets and living in duplicity. One world, sordid, dirty, twisted, sociopathic. These same persons also created a simultaneous world for people outside the family to see — solid mormons, close-knit, service oriented, caring and compassionate, prominent politicians, big-name business owners, published and famous artists and writers — while actively participating in the abuses, and making decisions that kept my sex abuse experiences a secret that led to severe post traumatic stress and clinical depression in childhood on into adulthood.

My new book will feature the sly, hidden destructive dynamics of my siblings Leif Hansen of Leif’s Auto Collision Centers in Portland, Oregon, Diana Hansen-Young of Hawaii State Legislature and painter-writer fame, Melanie Silvester, professional genealogist in the Mormon church, evangelist for the Mormons, and others.

How these individuals became Vacuus is unknown to me, as they are all about 14 years older than me, but I will be speaking directly to the choices they made that knowingly allowed sex abuse to run rampant in my young life, and the sadistic manipulations they used to cover it up, and assist in helping my ex-husband, Aaron Stewart Heusser, to get away with domestic violence in the marriage, and extend his domestic violence into child custody and get away with turning our son against me with dark lies about me that has caused my son not to want to talk to me or see me in nine years. He is 22 now.

The Vacuus.

Vacuus is a term I have given the vile, viscous villains in an imaginative tale I wrote called “The Muse Academy.” (www.themuseacademy.wordpress.com).

But Vacuus are not entirely fictional, in fact, they exist and thrive in hiding in plain sight in realtionships, settings, tasks and contexts of all variety.

Vacuus are persons who steal your narrative, or manipulate it to suit their own sadistic needs, the lust for drama gossip, the pornography of fabricating crisis, conflict and chaos, the evil of splitting close bonds apart, splitting people apart and sowing contention just for the sport of getting a drama fix — that would be sibling Melanie Silvester and Diana Hansen-Young.

Hard to believe, given Melanie’s presentation of the supra-righteous poster woman for the Mormon church and its holy values, that she would destructively align herself with my ex-husband, Aaron Stewart Heusser to fabricate high drama and crisis for her own drama fix, while partnering with him in such a way that he could lie in court testimony to underhandedly and illegally seize custody of our son.

Hard to wrap my head around, how Leif Hansen and Diana Hansen-Young can deceive the public, their voters and constituents and customers and advertisers and vendors — with such sly duplicity, and keep all their dark, twisted behaviors a secret from all of them.

This is the passive-aggressive, sneaky, depceptive and duplicitous way in which the Vacuus work their wiles.

You wake up one morning and your life is turned upside down and you don’t know how that happened, but then you spot the stink of Vacuus footprints all over the home and you know, Melanie and Aaron and Lei and Diana have been at it again.

For what purpose? So Melanie could get her drama high, and Aaron could control her to the point of making her lie to the judge because he didn’t want to share our son, he wanted to own our son. Our son was a possession for Aaron, and a game pawn for Melanie.

Like any addict, the drama fix, the gossip fix, the crisis fix, the power fix, the control fix, the ownership fix, must get bigger each time to get the same addicted satisfaction.

Its how Vacuus get their jollies.

I cannot get back what was lost, and likely to remain lost, with my son from the sociopathic duo of Melanie and Aaron, but there is a legal option for me to sue them both for child estrangement. I am actively researching that as a point of my recovery from their trauma, which is restorative justice.

So, there is The Dramatist Vacuus, the Gossip, the Empty, the Void, the Sadist, the Destroyer, the Stomper, the Bully, the Thief.

The Bully and Stomper would be Leif Hansen.

You’ll have to buy the book to find out how.

Do you have any of these Vacuus in your life? Are you secretly hiding and denying the fact that you might be one of these to other people?

Ammends must be made, accountability taken, consequences allowed to take their natural course and the burdens and pain put back on the shoulders of the perpetrators, not any longer on their victim’s backs.

Persons of trauma learn to suspend their judgement, to mistrust or second-guess their inner voice, their gut instincts, so they tend to go along with the Vacuus instead of claiming and displaying their own truths, the facts that Vacuus want to deny.

My encouragement is to trust your Self, your perceptions, your initial judgement-calls, so the Vacuus don’t have a void to fill. You’ve claimed your space and are outwardly making it known that the Vacuus no longer have a seat at your table.

Know that speaking your truths, or simply acting with choices based on your truths, will bring some blow-back. The Vacuus do not like paradigm shifts. Not only do they not want to give up their power and control, they are deathly afraid of being exposed. Shining a flashlight under the bed poofs away the boogey-man. Shining light on dark secrets will bring you peace, ultimately, because you are no longer allowing Vacuus to rent rooms in your head and heart and soul without paying rent while destroying your property.

Self-care is a necessity, not a luxury. Self-care includes setting boundaries, maintaining your privacy, disengaging from persons who do not respect these. Distancing your Self from destructive person’s manipulations, stop being the focus of their possessiveness, get out from under their ownership, dodge their compulsions to write your narrative for you.

Build yourself a place of peace in your home, and inside your Self that you can carry with you everywhere you go, and quietly dwell in there, and communicate with others from that space, everywhere and anywhere.

This place of peace is still, it is reasonable and from that posture life becomes reasonable.

It is both a refuge and a shield from Vacuus storms.

Your mind, you heart and personality are yours and only yours. You are a child of creation, creativity is innate within you — so go on and create your Self the way you want that artwork to be.

Thanks for reading,

Heidi D. Hansen, M.A.

email: dog.hotel.hansen@gmail.com

The 5 Acumens of Trauma Recovery — Join Heidi for A New Trauma Project Workshop September 28

September 12, 2019September 18, 2019 by addogsunleashed, posted in anxiety and panic attacks, dissociation, heidi d. hansen, m.a., mental health original art, mental health therapy, mental health workshops, portland oregon therapist, post trauma stress, trauma recovery, vancouver washington therapist

There are five masteries — high life-affirming skills — to learn in our recovery and resiliency of traumatic experience:

Creating meaning;
Finding restorative justice;
Body reconciliation;
Creating and strengthening your sense of Self;
High engagement with life-affirming activities.

I am hosting another Trauma Project workshop to provide safe, private and renewing education on these 5 acumens — and I really hope you’ll join us for this. It’s on Saturday, September 28, 2019, at 9 a.m. in Vancouver, Washington.

It’s free, and I’m bringing the coffee — the good kind!

Journals and sketchbooks will be provided at no charge, and good pens.

Email me at dog.hotel.hansen@gmail.com to RSVP and confirm location details.

Remember, trauma changes us, but we get to say how.

So until then, rest, restore, and renew.

— Heidi D. Hansen, M.A.

cash.app/$doghotel2018 is the link to donate a tad of cash to help fund The Trauma Project. Heidi is an experienced clinician and understands the necessity of providing truly excellent mental health care to those who can least afford it, and everything about the Trauma Project is free to all. So, donations here at this link go directly and exclusively to fund the overhead and upkeep of The Trauma Project, and I will write and sign a receipt for your tax purposes and also express exactly where your donation went — was it printing costs, or stamps for mail-outs, was it to pay for the meeting space, the sketchbooks/journals we use in our workshops, was it for refreshment in the workshops — I’ll let you know. That’s Heidi’s promise, your money goes exactly where I say it goes. Thank You!

Sailin’ On The River of Grace

August 24, 2019September 12, 2019 by addogsunleashed, posted in anxiety and panic attacks, dissociation, heidi d. hansen, m.a., mental health original art, mental health therapy, mental health workshops, portland oregon therapist, post trauma stress, trauma recovery, vancouver washington therapist

I made this dog-story art-song video to represent that living creatures, including people, can only thrive when they have environments to live in that are permanent, safe, secure, predictable and nourishing as well as in their control. This is also a segway to a mural I am starting that represents some insights around the experience of homelessness that the typical stereotypes don’t capture. I’ll be posting the progress of that mural, with photos, and there will be a charitable auction for ownership of it when it is completed. Thank you for your time, your energy, and motivation to upgrade our city neighbors who do not have secure, safe, predictable homes in which to grow and thrive as persons. And their dogs.

the dandelions bloom at midnight

June 3, 2019June 16, 2019 by addogsunleashed, posted in anxiety and panic attacks, dissociation, heidi d. hansen, m.a., mental health original art, mental health therapy, mental health workshops, portland oregon therapist, post trauma stress, trauma recovery, Uncategorized, vancouver washington therapist

june 2, 2019, by Heidi d. Hansen, m.a.

‘the dandelions bloom at midnight’

this was the secret password my son and i used when he was young, used in cases when we were not able to communicate directly but a change of plans needed to be made, for example, if someone else was to pick him up after school at the last minute. the password was used to let him know the situation had my permisssion, my knowledge, and was safe.

but the phrase is more than a secret code — it is true that some flowers and plants bloom in the night hours.

this is also a metapor, that some persons bloom in adversity. in times of our greatest despair, we can choose to act out our troubles, or do something extraordinary with them.

we are all children of creation – creativity is innate within ourselves. we are capable of innovating solutions, finding new ways, summoning up coping skills we have not thought of before.

trauma changes us, but we get to say how.

trauma will change you, but you get to say how

if you find yourself in a spot in life when everything has crashed around you, the things you normally hang onto for sanity have abandoned you, you feel frightened and alone and shaking in your boots — but yet you are still standing — shout out loud in celebration, ‘i’m still standing.’

the one hidden blesing of trauma is that it clears the decks. when everything is lost or damaged, everything becomes a new blank canvas upon which to paint something new and different — perhaps this is the opportunity for you to become a version 2.0 of yourself — a self you always imagined you might want to become someday – and since all is lost and theree’s nothing left to do but re-create yourself, perhaps you can strategically create that self you had previously only imagined, but now you can make it real.

trauma can provide new opportunities to expand our selves

trauma is mesy, it is unpredictable, it will sneak up and bite you from behind when you least expect it. but truma is not an illness. it’s an event that has caused great pain and fear. the side order that comes in tow with that is shame, guilt, rage — even though you have nothing to feel shame or guilt about, we do anyway.

that’s where restorative justice comes in. ‘putting the monkey back on the back of to whom it belongs.’ within lawful limits, a person must make some justice happen in order to be whole again.

advocating for our selves to restore the balance of what was taken away from us can be freeing

trauma can make us feel as though we’ve gone dead inside. that is why it is so important to fill up our lives with life-affirming actions. things that are creative — you are a child of creation, remember — so fill your days with creative things — anything of your choosing, it does not mean artsy or crafty things although those are great too – it can be anything — making up a new song or joke, walking through the library and picking books at random off shelves you haven’t been to before, and reading one paragraph out of the page the book opens to. it can be creating your own coffee specialty item at your local coffee shop — you might want to tip them for this. making a friend froma different culture and listeinging to their family stories. throw yourself into anything and everything that is life-affirming and validates your sense of self, safety, and sanity.

the self, our personality — is a trememdous gift. trauma will try to rob you of that. but remember there is only one person who owns your self, only one person who can make the decisisons for the development and healing and thriving of that self — you.

you’ll need someone to talk to about the pain, the awfulness, the horrors, the ‘world has caved in on me’ experience. one who can use life-affirming strategies to help you re-connect with your sense of self and esteem in a manner of your own choosing, finding a center of joy that you can trust.

find a trauma-skilled therapist. not everyone has the training and expertise to this field. i happen to be a therapist who is, and my trauma project workshops will provide you with a knowlege structure around three types of trauma — the trauma of abuse and violence, the trauma of abandonment and neglect, and the trauma of dehumanization. i’ll also teach you five specific masteries that will help you grow through and even thrive after trauma and throughout your life development.

my trauma project workshops are free and all are welcome to attend donations are appreciated but not necessary to participate.

so call or email me and let’s talk and set up a trauma workshop for you, or individual therapy sessions to addres more personal needs. i want you to be well, mentally and physically, and i’m here to help you do that. thanks for listenting, and let’s talk soon — bye for now..

we’ll talk soon, I’m looking forward to it.

Call or email me to use this coupon to help get yourself trauma-informed. I take online payments using Ally online bank. Free-will donations are also appreciated to help cover my overhead so I can continue to offer free services to low-income and homeless persons. Thank you, and enjoy the next article. — Heidi

are you trauma informed? by Heidi d. Hansen, m.a. june 15, 2019

Heidi’s trauma workshops will help professionals in many different fields be more successful with their clients when they become trauma – informed.

Are you a health care professional? Work in social or human services? Legal services or law enforcement? Sales? Are you in a management or executive position where you train, supervise, organize and motivate employees or departments of the business? Teacher or educator or in childcare? Do you work in non-profit or philanthropic organizations including churches or are you thinking of starting one?

everybody has a story. there are many types of traumas, and they show in up in the workplace, classroom, sales calls, and in patient/client/congregational care. the more you understand how trauma affects a person’s way of relating to their environment, the people and stressors around their environment, the more effective you will be in helping them, and your organization, achieve their goals..

let’s start with the basics. empathy and perspective.

sense of security, personality structure, and esteem are damaged by trauma in invisible ways.

except they are not invisible to the person of trauma. a person of trauma goes to great lengths to hide their dysfunctions so as to appear as normal as can be, because for all intents and purposes, they are normal. they want to work, play and love just as much as everybody else and most persons of trauma are just regular, average people who are skilled, educated/trained, available for relationships and hobbies and life adventures. normal.

except that we know now that the more trauma children and adolescents are exposed to, the more problems they will have in later life with rocky relationships, trouble with the law, with homelessness, domestic violence, unemployment, substance abuse, and mental illness.

we now know that in adulthood as well as childhood, trauma alters the structure of nuerons in the brain that are not reversable. these nuerons are responsible for the chemicals that produce anxiety, depression, impulsivity, low frustration tolerance, poor decision-making.

as a professional, you may have more contact with these individuals struggling with these risk factors than what you see on the outside.

trauma survivors live in a world invisible to most. it is a lonely, isolated world of fears and needs and a sense of being so very different from everyone else sometimes that alone-ness itself is a barrier.

the cure is to be able to connect deeply in life – affirming ways with other people, meaningful work, making the world better for others, but the symptoms of traumatic stress handicap people right at that point — it can be a sensation of living in a tupperware box, almost able to reach out and touch what they see others doing – not being afraid, not over-reacting, not withdrawing or being aggressively controlling but able to really honestly enjoy being with each other, engaged in the moment and find find joy in the day without self-punishment. but they can’t get past the fuzzy tupperware wall. how to live like that is just too foreign a concept for trauma sufferers.

you can begin to assist your people move past those barriers by deepening your empathy for what is happening inside a person of trauma — in a world you are not experiencing. a world which is invisible to you. the following chart will show two columns that may help you see and hear the invisible reality of the person your chosen profession has given you stewardship.

to set up a workshop for professionals, or a private consultation on how being more trauma-informed can help you be more effective in your work, email me at dog.hotel.hansen@gmail.com, or call me at 360-600-8745. thanks, and be well — heidi

please take advantage of this coupon to upgrade your acumen on trauma and how that can help you and your work be more successful. I accept payments made to ally online bank, via western union money transfer services, or by money order.